The Silent Power Of Boundaries: Why Protecting Your Peace Is Key
There are so many ways in which we share our personal data – in online shopping reviews; feedback for services/products; marketing and promotional activities; the list keeps on increasing. Before the advent of computers and technology, life was so much simpler. We could control how and with whom to share our personal data. But today, we give our contact numbers to service providers, online shopping apps, food delivery apps, vegetable vendor, grocery apps, you name it, they have it (your phone number) ! The habit of getting everything “home delivered” has made us take these providers for granted. With this comes the onslaught of telemarketing phone calls and a slew of never-ending messages. The constant pinging of the phone is enough to drive us nuts and take away our mental peace! Not to mention the cyber frauds that are on the rise at an alarming speed. Setting boundaries will make us choose with whom to share our phone number or not.
Setting boundaries in our lives puts us back in the saddle and in control of our life. Often, we tend to do things for others, even at our inconvenience, which drains us emotionally and mentally. Our ability to “not to say no” puts us in a precarious situation many a time. Unknowingly, we put ourselves in situations we cannot get out of, leaving us with no time for ourselves.
Why boundaries?
If you value yourself, set boundaries – a healthy space, where you can focus on yourself and care for yourself. Your time, your energy, your relationships, deal with them at your discretion and how you want to. Boundaries are necessary for peace of mind and your physical, psychological, emotional and spiritual wellness.
- Self-love: Self-love is all about boundaries, that help us protect our energy and honour ourselves. Caring for ourselves makes it easier to care for others. Practice self-love.
- Energy: We tend to absorb the energy around us – both positive and negative. Once we begin to say “no” to such negative energy /persons, our energy levels normalize and we feel peaceful and energetic. Whereas being in proximity of people with positive energy, energizes us too.
- Growth: There are times when we are asked to do things that do not align with our beliefs and ideals. The clever thing to do is to politely decline being a part of such activities. This makes room for us to grow and embrace new opportunities that are aligned to our beliefs and ideals.
- Relationships: Setting boundaries at home and work gives us time to prioritize, concentrate and focus on both without any distractions. We can manage our relationships better without the guilt of short-charging one over the other. This strengthens our bond and increases our self-worth and self-confidence.
- Inner peace: The constant need to be available, always, leads to the stress of over-thinking. Constant demands and expectations are required of us, which may lead to fatigue/burn-out and stress. The way to inner peace is to stop over-thinking / trying to please everyone. Fulfilling demands and expectations, as much as we can, without over-stretching our limits, can bring inner peace.
- Composure: Being calm in our demeanor keeps us grounded. Keeping a positive outlook in negative situations teaches us to handle our issues better. Rather than debating with someone over an inconsequential matter, it is better to value your own peace and keep mum. Listen to them and walk away. No arguments required.
- Select: Select the people who can come close to you. The ones who can be in your inner circle and space, whom you trust and who deserve your trust. The ones with whom you can share your thoughts and feelings without the fear of being judged. The ones who will not mind if you say ‘no’.
- Schedule: Try to schedule, ten minutes, every couple of hours, to take a few deep breaths. Walk around the home/office during a phone call. Don’t bring office work – home. Don’t plan consecutive projects, without a break in between. Scheduling your time according to your tasks and responsibilities will bring some balance to your routine and help you prioritize better.
- Say no: Politely decline tasks that are way beyond your current load and capacity. Its perfectly okay to decline with no hard feelings. After all, it is not your problem if your colleague is unable to complete her task and tries to shoulder it to you.
- Break: Take 5 minutes off before you move on to the next task/responsibility. Take a short break – take some deep breaths – practice 5 minutes of stretching- walk around for 5 minutes – keep a short gap before you move on. This will be a quick reset to prepare your body better for the forthcoming task.
- Pressure: Do not take undue pressure to be perfect and end up making mistakes. Just be true to yourself and behave accordingly. You are human and a human can make mistakes, no big deal ! This belief will relax you to no end.
Setting boundaries is for our inner peace. After all, who can function efficiently with a stressed and over-thinking mind? Only if we are calm and collected can we clearly see the bigger picture and work towards it. A stressed mind is not without errors. This leads to additional stress to rectify those errors. All a vicious cycle ! The outcome is – tons and tons of stress, often leading to panic attacks, depression and anxiety. Not to mention the havoc created to our body by way of onset of chronic illnesses. Whew!
Our personal boundaries are divided among our priorities. It is our selection and discretion as to who, what and when deserves our utmost attention. Setting boundaries and protecting your peace is not a sin. It is a life lesson that everyone needs to learn and remember and practice all through their lives. We have, but one life, so why not live it peacefully and happily ever after?
