Redefining Masculinity: Navigating Change in a Shifting World
Being a therapist, I see today’s male, the world over getting caught in a strange new bind. Here, the bind has an additional Indian twist.
On one hand, the internet has opened 1.4 billion people’s eyes. India is trying all kinds of wonderful things. Mindsets and opinions have changed practically overnight, in a shock to the system. On the other, traditional India is fighting back against the change, and the country is trying to find a balance. This pressure is not just coming from the parents/grandparents, it is coming from the youth themselves who are proud of their culture too. But the tension exists.
The Shifting Dynamics of Gender Roles and Power
And if that was not enough to change all norms, the steady empowerment of women that had started in the 60s has grown to a point where they are doing so much better in education that boys are dropping out in increasing numbers. The pace at which they fill positions of responsibility keeps increasing and in the social sphere, all it takes is a whiff of an accusation of sexual harassment before a man loses his entire career. Aziz Ansari is a famous case in point.
Today’s male is increasingly coming under a tsunami of change that is robbing him of his agency.
This is not good for society, both male and female. There is another way out.
Men can learn from women’s efforts over the last 80 years… look inside themselves for identity, answers, and strength. We do have a role. Women love us as much as we love them. Just like women’s lib succeeded because it was led by women, with the help of men, today too we can work together to move forward constructively.
I do not know what tomorrow’s man will look like. No one does. What I do know however is it will, I suspect, be equal but different. In diversity we find strength. In cooperation, we achieve lofty heights.
Redefining Masculinity: The Journey Starts Within
None of this will happen however unless we men take the lead and start talking amongst ourselves. We look to each other and inside ourselves to bring out what we want. It must start with us being authentic to ourselves first without searching for some external role model. There is none. And do not believe people who tell you they have answers. They do not. This whole thing is far too new.
Only YOU do… and it is yet to come out. Let us make the space and time for it to do so.
What do men want? Is the current system of education tilted against males who prefer physical activity to sitting quietly in a classroom? Do we want women to be a lot more direct with us because that is how we think? Do we want honesty and respect over fawning and feel-good platitudes?
The list goes on, the shape of things to come still emerging.
